Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Like Father, Like Son

I was recently observing how my dad interacted with his grandson, Harvey. 

It was a bittersweet feeling, gripping my heart and making me all but lose my breath, yet it made me so happy.  Maybe it's just the pregnancy hormones, or the fact that I miss my deceased grandfather more than usual lately, but I couldn't help but cry at the similarities that my dad and his dad shared.

You see, my dad isn't a very "emotionally outspoken" fact, I would go to the lengths of saying he is "emotionally constipated."  My grandfather, his father, was the same way.  (I remember my grandma shaking her head and saying he has "no concept of romance at all!"  My mom says the same thing to this day about my dad.) 

It was hard for me to ever have a real connection with my dad growing up, and sometimes it's still hard, but I know I have a better relationship with him today than I did ten years ago.  However, there must be an automatic something that sparks an emotional trigger when you have grandchildren...

Because I can remember the look in my grandpa's eyes, the smile on his face, and the comfort in his voice when he spoke to me.  Or how I could just hop up in his lap as a child and we would watch NASCAR together.  I have a picture in my wallet of my grandpa reading me a book, and I often times catch myself staring at it, remembering a million things about him at once.

My dad, I noticed while he waved goodbye to Harvey, had the exact same look in his eyes, that exact same smile on his face, and that exact same tone.  I can hardly wait for the days when Harvey jumps up on his Grandpa Craig's lap and asks him to read a book, or they watch the game together. 

At my grandfather's funeral, I read a passage from the Book of Sirach, in which one particular verse seemed to come to life at the above recent observation: 
                  "At the father's death, he will seem not dead, since he leaves after him one like himself."
                                                                                                                                                   Sirach 30:4



  1. I know the feeling. I have a picture of Mara at home with dad on her first Christmas (also Grandpa's last one) and he's holding her and he looks identical to the way Poppa Harv held Beanie and Mal when they were little. I like how most of my pictures of Dad with my kids are of Dad smiling at the kids, not at the camera. Cameras and pictures aren't the source of his joy - the grandchild is and that's who he smiles at.

  2. wow... I'm in tears. Beautiful post.

    And Ryan's comment above triggered a new wave of 'em.

    Of course, it doesn't help that your dad looks EXATLY like his dad... your next younger brother and I were looking at pics of a young Poppa Harv yesterday, and your brother was aghast at the similarities. I was stunned that he never noticed that before!

    As grandparents, the love you feel for this little child is entirely different than the love for your own child... its so encompassing. I admired the way Poppa Harv's love for you kids showed so clearly, and am so happy to realize that Dad's love does now, too.